A Letter To My Son6:Live coverage of the British Royal Wedding:Let's clap for CitizenTV

Prince William and Kate Middleton
picture courtesy of popsugar.com

Dear son,

Son,for days now I have been noticing the advert on citizen TV informing the public that on 29th this April they will be showing live the" exciting wedding of the century" proceedings from London of one Kate Middleton and one Prince William.And I am thinking: is Citizen TV directorship insane!Who tells them that the Kenyan public is interested in following the wedding proceedings live as if we have all the time in the world to in the face of the demanding life that our existence has become.The "most exciting wedding of the century"?Who say so?The importance with which Citizen TV is treating this wedding makes you feel that this is the most important thing to ever happen to humans in the 21st century.It is like God has finally decided to come down from wherever his home is to come and get a wife from one of the shags in Kenya.

This is a gross over-assumption of what the viewers need.I don't want to preempt what other Kenyans might think of the same but the  like minded Kenyans like me will agree that we don't give a damn about the wedding.It doesn't touch me and it wouldn't add any value in my life nor will it make any difference in a world plagued by high cost of living,unemployment,HIV/AIDS,Malaria,war and other socio-econo-political problems.

It is so disappointing to think that a glamorous TV channel like Citizen can give importance to this wedding simply because it is royal wedding and as if it matters a lot to Kenya and as if the wedding of other humans never matter.Only colonized minds that will still hold colonial masters who made our fore fathers suffer in their own country for no crime committed with such high esteem.The royalty as a matter of fact is only a societal construct and it makes no body special in any way.Prince William is no extra ordinary man that any Briton or any other world citizen is and he benefits from the privileges of a creation of the the few rich and powerful in the English society who promoted inequality in the society by reducing others to lesser position to serve their interests.There is nothing  in royalty or nobility beyond the fact that it is a state of mind and status that has thrived on the machinations of the bored rich who want to be above others.S,o I am thinking,the live coverage might  be for the rich Kenyan upper echelons of the society who have the comfort of fancying such extravagant weddings that are financed by the British wananchi.

Son,It makes me wonder if this live coverage will be of help to the Nairobian and the generally deprived and over-burdened Kenyan people who are feeling the pinch of economic disability as a result of the rising cost of living and the pervasive unemployment that is stalking the lives of Kenyans of all walks of life.Or is it going to be an escape into the other world to remind us of how much lesser beings we are than the royal family of the inequality ridden England?

Nairobi has become a hot place to live in, what with the high prices of goods and services as a result of arrogant increase of fuel pump prices by the Energy Regulatory Commission which is a state organ that is expected to protect the people's interests.But strangely, the well off are comfortably driving their fuel guzzlers without ever feeling the pinch and not at any time would you ever see them on the streets carrying twigs in a demonstration even if Atwoli called one today.

Today if you sit by the pharmacies in Nairobi it will be strange to notice that these medicine dispensers are making a kill at this hard time.Many people are going for drugs to relieve anxiety and kill headaches that have become common due to pressures of financial constraints,failed or failing narriages,hard-to-deal with teenagers amongst other sicial and economic troubles.And this problem is not being felt in the capital alone.It is even worse in the rural areas where majority of the people have no income generating activities and wholly depend on land which with unpredictable weather pattern has become unreliable.

Such times have been there before such as the drought periods when people lacked food but even then life wasn't as expensive as it is today and the Kenyan Government has never put measures in place to cushion wananchi from the effects of rising oil prices and its subsequent high cost of living.Such times  of hardship in these times you had only one meal in a day.And as children we ended up overeating when the meals came since it was the only meal of the day and you knew it would take long before you get another meal.Over eating itself was another problem in itself ,son.So then the broom in the house, apart from sweeping and providing readily available toothpick got its third use:you swept your stomach with it to reduce the discomfort.But it never helped.However the fat from obtained from the milk used to do wonders.They would massage your stomach after which you went to the bush and your problems were over.

But today, son,even this opportunity to overeat isn't there since even getting this one meal is just to hard.And even when it comes the majority of our families have too many of mouths to feed the one meal is like a drop of water in an empty pot.

The rich can afford to eat,they can drive their big cars and they can afford to watch the "exciting wedding of the century" of the exceptional mortals of their ilk and so Citizen TV should give us a break.Let those who want to watch the wedding take a flight to London because they can afford it or even get crash it if they want to.We have too much on our hands to worry about.And did you know,consumer inflation rate in Britain is at 4.4%which means the average house hold in Britain are feeling the pinch but do you how much is going to be spent on the royal wedding?

A Letter To My Son6:Live coverage of the British Royal Wedding:Let's clap for CitizenTV

Prince William and His bride Kate Middleton

Dear son,

Son,for days now I have been noticing the advert on citizen TV informing the public that on 29th this April they will be showing live the" exciting wedding of the century" proceedings from London of one Kate Middleton and one Prince William.And I am thinking: is Citizen TV directorship insane!Who tells them that the Kenyan public is interested in following the wedding proceedings live as if we have all the time in the world to in the face of the demanding life that our existence has become.The "most exciting wedding of the century"?Who say so?The importance with which Citizen TV is treating this wedding makes you feel that this is the most important thing to ever happen to humans in the 21st century.It is like God has finally decided to come down from wherever his home is to come and get a wife from one of the shags in Kenya.

This is a gross over-assumption of what the viewers need.I don't want to preempt what other Kenyans might think of the same but the  like minded Kenyans like me will agree that we don't give a damn about the wedding.It doesn't touch me and it wouldn't add any value in my life nor will it make any difference in a world plagued by high cost of living,unemployment,HIV/AIDS,Malaria,war and other socio-econo-political problems.

It is so disappointing to think that a glamorous TV channel like Citizen can give importance to this wedding simply because it is royal wedding and as if it matters a lot to Kenya and as if the wedding of other humans never matter.Only colonized minds that will still hold colonial masters who made our fore fathers suffer in their own country for no crime committed with such high esteem.The royalty as a matter of fact is only a societal construct and it makes no body special in any way.Prince William is no extra ordinary man that any Briton or any other world citizen is and he benefits from the privileges of a creation of the the few rich and powerful in the English society who promoted inequality in the society by reducing others to lesser position to serve their interests.There is nothing  in royalty or nobility beyond the fact that it is a state of mind and status that has thrived on the machinations of the bored rich who want to be above others.S,o I am thinking,the live coverage might  be for the rich Kenyan upper echelons of the society who have the comfort of fancying such extravagant weddings that are financed by the British wananchi.

Son,It makes me wonder if this live coverage will be of help to the Nairobian and the generally deprived and over-burdened Kenyan people who are feeling the pinch of economic disability as a result of the rising cost of living and the pervasive unemployment that is stalking the lives of Kenyans of all walks of life.Or is it going to be an escape into the other world to remind us of how much lesser beings we are than the royal family of the inequality ridden England?

Nairobi has become a hot place to live in, what with the high prices of goods and services as a result of arrogant increase of fuel pump prices by the Energy Regulatory Commission which is a state organ that is expected to protect the people's interests.But strangely, the well off are comfortably driving their fuel guzzlers without ever feeling the pinch and not at any time would you ever see them on the streets carrying twigs in a demonstration even if Atwoli called one today.

Today if you sit by the pharmacies in Nairobi it will be strange to notice that these medicine dispensers are making a kill at this hard time.Many people are going for drugs to relieve anxiety and kill headaches that have become common due to pressures of financial constraints,failed or failing narriages,hard-to-deal with teenagers amongst other sicial and economic troubles.And this problem is not being felt in the capital alone.It is even worse in the rural areas where majority of the people have no income generating activities and wholly depend on land which with unpredictable weather pattern has become unreliable.

Such times have been there before such as the drought periods when people lacked food but even then life wasn't as expensive as it is today and the Kenyan Government has never put measures in place to cushion wananchi from the effects of rising oil prices and its subsequent high cost of living.Such times  of hardship in these times you had only one meal in a day.And as children we ended up overeating when the meals came since it was the only meal of the day and you knew it would take long before you get another meal.Over eating itself was another problem in itself ,son.So then the broom in the house, apart from sweeping and providing readily available toothpick got its third use:you swept your stomach with it to reduce the discomfort.But it never helped.However the fat from obtained from the milk used to do wonders.They would massage your stomach after which you went to the bush and your problems were over.

But today, son,even this opportunity to overeat isn't there since even getting this one meal is just to hard.And even when it comes the majority of our families have too many of mouths to feed the one meal is like a drop of water in an empty pot.

The rich can afford to eat,they can drive their big cars and they can afford to watch the "exciting wedding of the century" of the exceptional mortals of their ilk and so Citizen TV should give us a break.Let those who want to watch the wedding take a flight to London because they can afford it or even get crash it if they want to.We have too much on our hands to worry about.And did you know,consumer inflation rate in Britain is at 4.4%which means the average house hold in Britain are feeling the pinch but do you how much is going to be spent on the royal wedding?

A Letter To My Son5:The Crazy NaiROBBERY Living

Image courtesy of cloudfront.net

Son,how are you?Let me hope that your Easter was cool.I was all over Nairobi with my friends with whom we painted the town red with the blood of the lamb who the pharisees decided had to die.It was a great weekend because we were philanthropic enough to raise the sales of beer  for  KBL but never spent a dime of mine on even a bottle of beer yet I partied and sang Mututho all weekend long.We drank and when the pain of the Lord's death got deep into our nerves we wailed and wept.Bet you have never seen a man cry but strangely after that night out of mourning Lord's death and baying for the blood of Judas's ,I could hardly remember what had happened the previous night and I wondered too why the lose we had felt was so grave like that when the last time we listened to the pastor is such a long time.

Son,are you too on Nairobi?I am stuck here after the long weekend thinking of getting something worth while to do with myself.But as I walked in town the other evening I realized  that Nairobi is too chaotic of a place to be.It is like as if there is a bug with a weird madness that affects even the best of people once they set there foot in this glorious town.A friend of mine whom we were with in primary school left home when all parents with daughters were thinking of getting surveillance cameras for their homes just because of him.Later when I first arrived here from shags with an old blind jogoo for my aunt hurdled under my arm,I met him at Machakos Country Bus station preaching and even speaking in tongues.

Well that is fair enough.To be in Nairobi you have to be mad like the city itself.While home, I would take a walk so freely but in this blessed town is like every body is always running.And to make it worse it is like Nairobi is the only place in the where you have to run at the zebra crossing if you so love your life.And the pedestrians seem to be oblivious of traffic lights even when they are to stopped they are busy running across the road while their eyes are fixed on something or somebody in the next street.And I am thinking:these people I see are immortals for them to despise death like that.Is it rudeness or is it that this is the only place  where time matters most than any other place in the world?

However,if this has surprised you,then think of the fact that a new concept has been introduced into economics alongside sex capital by the Nairobians.Now we have madness capital that can instantly make you a millionaire without bothering with KTN's Kwachu promo which only drains your precious Nairobian money without ever being sure if that milli will be yours.

Take for example,The Churchill Live comedy show.It is a show of mad fellows with the craziest of all being the sensational mad man Erick Omondi.These guys have broken the traditions.When growing up no one would ever publicly display there madness like the Churchill's do now.The old prophet in the village would say that you are filled with demons and keshas would be organized to exorcise the demons with a lot of tea being taken in exchange.People would never take you seriously and the corner at the market place would be reserved for you.

Fortunately, today madness is acceptable and it is money and it even brings fame and women closer to you. If  these fellows are not mad then they have robbed the clan of mad people who the society find unpleasant and are either left loose to roam the world or if fair enough are  taken to Mathare Menatal Hospital.The comedians lot are making money and have become house-hold names out of being mad.

So naturally if you find me becoming a little unlike me don't bother,son.I will only be trying to be an entrepreneur.Neither when I name your upcoming younger brother Churchill Live or Hawayuni, dot blame me because  I will only be becoming commercially crazy.The next time I will be taking our family name a notch higher when Citizen TV interviews us live to know the nature of madness that inspired the name of your brother Churchil Live Hawayuni Omondi Erick.

This is the Nairobi for you and we christened it Nairobbery.Be mad and if possible have a degree for it;they are cheaper in River Road or go on screen to join the club of Jalas and the Omondi's.Otherwise I have to pen off here.I have to apply for my masters in Dreams since it is not a flooded field and I might become sonko soon when I begin to help people with their nightmares brought by the  high cost of Nairobi living.

Your-Sleep-Walking-Buddy

Good-Loving-Daddy-For-Life

Charl Chotto

An explication of Derek Walcott’s poem “A City’s Death by Fire”

Photo courtesy of The Independent

A City's Death By Fire

After that hot gospeller has levelled all but the churched sky,

I wrote the tale by tallow of a city's death by fire;
Under a candle's eye, that smoked in tears, I
Wanted to tell, in more than wax, of faiths that were snapped like wire.
All day I walked abroad among the rubbled tales,
Shocked at each wall that stood on the street like a liar;
Loud was the bird-rocked sky, and all the clouds were bales
Torn open by looting, and white, in spite of the fire.
By the smoking sea, where Christ walked, I asked, why
Should a man wax tears, when his wooden world fails?
In town, leaves were paper, but the hills were a flock of faiths;
To a boy who walked all day, each leaf was a green breath
Rebuilding a love I thought was dead as nails,
Blessing the death and the baptism by fire.
Derek Walcott

Explication
The intensity of the loss is captured in the personification in the title of the poem “A City’s death by Fire”. A city is said to die yet it is not a living organism that dies. However, the metaphor captures the existence of the town which in totality is like an organism that has life. When the fire consumes the city, its heritage such as buildings and daily activities of the city is completely destroyed and which cannot be brought back to original form.Walcott’s poem “City’s Death by Fire” is a lyrical; poem imbued with expression of intensive feelings of loss, sadness and disillusionment that come with the destruction of the city. The persona talks of “faiths that were snapped like wire” (line 4) due to the city’s death. And the circumstances under which the poem is written” under a candles eye that smoked In tears”(line3) delivers a sullen picture of great sadness .

The poem is also effective in its communicating due to use of imagery. The imagery is rich and is extensively captured in various metaphors employed in the poem. The fire is referred to as the “hot gospeller”, an indication of the fire’s might and the manner in which it widely spread like the way gospel is spread. This is followed by the metaphor “churched sky” which means that the sky like untouchable church is never affected by the fire. Together with the metaphor of ‘hills that were flocks of faith” (line11) which gives the picture of many sheep grazing in peace, help draw a sharp contrast between the persona’s “wooden world” and the natural world which is not affected by the fire. This contrast in the two world’s created by the images of the two worlds show how unreliable and insecure the persona’s world that has been created by humans is and therefore worth not putting trust in. Therefore to alter persona’s mistaken faith in man made world, his world has to go through a transformation captured in the image enhancing allusion of “baptism by fire”.
Loss of persona’s faith in his “wooden world” is captured on the similes “…faiths that were snapped like wire” which shows that the impact of the fire is so sudden and which suddenly demands a new way of looking at life. People’s faith in their indestructible world is suddenly broken and thus their pain as their belief is destroyed. The persona is shocked at the walls that stood on the street “…like liars”. The walls give a false picture of the reality; of the city as it were before its destruction and which cannot now be brought back to life.

However, in the last stanza the persona expresses much hope for the town and its people since there “baptism” by fire marks the beginning of a new well founded faith that is not based on man made things

Citizen TV's Wedding Show is a Show of Money Power and Trouble to Young Suitors

On Saturday morning, unlike other Saturday’s,I found myself in the house watching the Wedding show on Citizen TV. To be honest,the show is sassy and colourful but quite extraordinary to be true to a small timer in life like me. However, it was full of warmth, beauty and elegance that many of us just wish for in life.

I was not enjoying the show but I was simply satisfying my curiosity. As a potential heart breaker to somebody’s  daughter, I have to upgrade my game by having insight into what goes on in the world of the females since wedding are more of ladies thing than are men.

As I watched the show, it hit me that these shows are not meant for people like us since at the base of these glamorous weddings is the extravagance of the rich in the Kenyan society who have lots of money but how to spend is the problem. A certain man in Mukuru kwa Njenga,while these weddings are going on,doesn’t know where the next meal for his family is going to come from  yet a couple are riding in a convoy of prados and Range Rover sport's cars snaking their way to the exotic Mamba Village in Nairobi to exchange a one minute simple thing like the wedding vows. I looked at the faces of the people and the smiles and comfort in their eyes and they smelled of nothing but money. I look at the cars, the dresses and the venues of the wedding which never before I had imagined that existed in Kenya and all I see is  bills and bills with Kenyatta’s face sewn together to give the grand face of the pompous wedding. It is apparent that someone’s has spent a fortune but the ease with which they carry themselves show that the money spent has little to worry them in any way.

I tell myself that these are no ordinary weddings for people like me and maybe you. They seem to me as if they have been stage managed and like some kind of a trailer to a blockbuster love film yet to be produced than an affair to mark the meaning of a couples unhappy life in a prison called marriage.

To pull off weddings like these ones for someone like me means that I will have to go round with profomas making people spent sleepless as they think about raising money for my wedding! Or maybe I will have to go bank and take advantage of the many personal loans that the many banks in Kenya are offering .All these options are outrageous to me and are the only safest way to inviting troubles in marriage. Be as it is, wedding is out of my mind.

The sad reality is that many ladies who ever want get married want to make their grand entry into the institution of marriage through a wedding. This fact smells a lot of trouble for penniless young men like us. It means that if we are not to have colourful weddings in the offing then it means beginning to disappoint people from the very start. Does It mean then that I am going to be less successful at getting somebody to party with in a marriage because I am not a wedding material.

I am thinking of marrying one day but right now I have to worry about getting a job which I wonder if it will be able to finance my wedding gift to my fiancee. If it would by my wish, I won’t bother about wedding but if it is the only gift that I can give my wife. And what if she wants a wedding so badly.

Today’s  girl who has watched the pompous shows such as the wedding show has her eyes set on high things like a colourful wedding that we many are just in trouble. No wonder today’s man would prefer to date to eternity but never bring up the subject of marriage because the next thing that follows is the wedding headache. It is a common thing that men when it comes to weddings they are always like boys being dragged to church when they would rather prefer  joini9ng their fellow boys  to go and steal the neighbour’s mangoes. So even a wedding was in the offing men would participate half mindedly as they leave everything to the ladies who would be more than eager to take charge and make it the wedding of their dreams. Men don’t enjoy wedding but for the lady that is the moment to prove to her friends and enemies that she is still the lady.

Therefore the wedding having become an expensive affair as they are and given that I don’t fancy a wedding, I think I would really wish that they would be avoidable. However, the wedding show which seems only targets the rich audience while it brews trouble for the small timer-men like me, I would prefer to take charge of the remote and forget that it exists. It isn’t my cup of tea.It is just too much a show of money power than an eye opener to the kind of wedding young lovers can have.

Lilian Muli is Back,But Her New Show is Cold

Lilian Muli Kanene

Do TV stations have some magic with which they use to make their presenters and TV host shine and be radiant like real stars in the sky? This is one question that has occupied my mind since TV stations in Kenya perfected the game of poaching of TV hosts and news anchors.

The many TV stars who have reached the near-idol status in their respective TV stations and who have come to be adored by their viewers have failed to carry with them the same glamour they had when they switch their stations of work.

For example, Louis Otieno was just adorable and too good while he was at KTN.He had a mass following which made him quite attractive to Citizen proprietors who couldn't resist the temptation to bring him into their stable to help bring in more viewers that would expand their viewer base given that they were still new .However, the near magic grip that Louis had while at KTN died.The spark that he had went away and his talk show became a one boring affair.

The same thing has happened again with Lilian Muli who has been one of the hot sensational KTN Prime news anchor.She was hot and this had the effect of making the male viewers getting attracted and glued to the channel alongside other factors such as her wit and ability to read news in a sweet catching way.Her departure from KTN broke the heart of many viewers and when everybody heard that she was going live at Citizen TV,we got relieved that at least she is still around.Her joining Citizen news anchor stable was accompanied by hot adverts that only created tension and much anxiety as we anticipated her come back which I only imagined in terms of Jesus' grand entry in Jerusalem.I thought it was good thing for Citizen which I thought had busied itself with very petty news items and bad political news posture.

However, her new Citizen Weekend News show has since failed to meet my expectations and satisfy the big appetite created in me by the adverts that had preceded her entry at Citizen TV.The show is cold and lacks the light and spark it ought to have.It seems the program has not been well tuned but perhaps like all other Citizen programs, it will get better with time. 
To give credit where it is due,I must admit that her special news feature on the women prisoners,that is,Lock Down:Women Behind Bars Promo, is genius.The story of the women prisoners was quite touching and I so much appreciated the fact that Lilian had thought of something that nobody else had thought of doing before.I know that starting from yesterday,KTN has started an almost similar promo,the Case Files,but Muli has all the credit of being the pioneer.Muli's promo made me rethink the value of my freedom in the light of many things I could do and the in depth nature of dreams I could have simply by virtue of being free.It is had to imagine somebody spending her youth in prison for an offense she is remorseful about  while watching her dreams grow mould because she is behind bars.I had hardly taken notice of women prisoners and watching  them as they told their stories made me value them even more.How I wish life would be easier on the women to avoid putting them in the way of crime as a possible way of escape from their troubles.After watching the last episode of the promo i went to bed wishing that it would be like be the pillow I had with that I could cling on to tightly without letting go.

Lilian Muli has made proud and I just hope her news show at Citizen grows and becomes better and netter. 
 

Here is the Smartest phone:Motorola Atrix 4G

MOTOROLA ATRIX 4G:The power of a computer

The new sleek Motorola Atrix handset unveiled at CES in 2011, is one of the coolest e-toys of the year.It offers a new vision into a promising future of  apt next generation technology.

The Moto Atrix,previously known as the Motorola Olympus,has the dual-core Nevadian Tetra ARM processor running at the heart of the new smartphone,which the manufacturers claim can run up to 2GHz due to the two 1GHz cores packed in the phone.It also has 1GB of RAM  that enables the phone to easily multitask and experience less judder and slowdowns while in use.

The new moto Atrix smart[phone that is powered by Android 2.2 also works on an optional Motorola HD Multimedia dock and it offers up to 3 USB pots together with an MDMI out slot that enables it to be connected to peripheral gadgets such a key board or a mouse that transforms it to a kind of small computer that utilizes a 4-inch q-HD(960 by 540)screen.

Alternatively ,you can go to the hog and use the Moto laptop dock with an 11-inch screen, a three cellar battery and and a full keyboard and track pad  that are powered by the Motorola Atrix.The phones 1930mAh battery is the most powerful of all the standard mobile phone battery  makes it even better and more reliable in its use.

With a weight of 135 grams ,the phone comes with other impressive user functionalities such as 5MP camera with an LED flash and 720p HD video capture.Its media playback is also powerful with 1080pMPEG,H.264,WMVand Xvid/Divx which are all supported in the small gadget.

with an internal memory of 16GB supplemented by  a microSD card slot that can support up to 32GBcrds  and its attractive size of 63.5 wide by 117.75mm length and 10.95mm thinness makes it your ideal phone for use.

so much new

Sunset whisperer Admin is making improvements on this blog to tailor it to be more broad based and more customized to meet readers interests and capture in the best way the concerns of the publisher.so much more is coming on to this blog,so stay with me......

A Letter To My Son4:Where is the Baby Boom I Once Saw in KU?

Dear son,

How you doing?I know right now you are pressed by exams almost running out of breath and in a bad mood,so I will be brief.How are you finding the exams?Well,this is of course  a rhetorical question because the obvious is true.I don’t expect things to be easy for you.I am proud to have a son who never entertains idleness and so sure I am that you have been busy the whole semester with stuff Alfred Mutua of "Najivunia kuwa Mkenya Mkenya Campaign" won't find amusing.

 I am made to understand that the whole of last few weeks you have been busy campaigning for characters who lost even after making pretty posters that made them seem to be more than themselves in real life.All I hope is that they paid you well enough to compensate for the energy you are now using to think and strain during exams as you twist your neck around "researching" from friends and trying to be clever not to be caught red handed by the vicious invigilators.I know of a teacher-guy who got suddenly fat after he caught some clever students who were taking their brightness an extra mile by hard-eyedely researching for answers while exams were in progress,against the university’s examinations regulations.I suspected the guy was promoted for doing what other invigilators were incapable of doing.

Strange things happen in this life son.

Things happened this semester.First,a guy is rumoured to have died in KU in Ngong hostel late in the night when trying to escape from the housekeeper.Apparently he had come for a sleep over at his girlfriend's place but late in the night after the 10pm time-mark for visiting female hostel the guy got so pressed he could dare stand the pressure.So he chucked out with his girl only to see the house keeper.He wanted to become clever not to be caught so he climbed outside the room to cling on the window on the third floor only to fall down and later pass away.Such an honorable thing to die for love!The second thing:one guy went the Oprah Confessional way  out of nowhere to claim that he had been raped by some vicious girls in Nyayo hostels.I want to know what someone was going to do about it but so far that storo is dead.And where are men and there issues left?God knows! Lastly,A well formed fetus was found dumped in the garbage collection point next to Nyayo Three.Whoever did it must have had some divine inspiration to do such a thing.

Normally for me even changaa cannot go through my throat before I offer a short prayer to the MAN who made the best the world has never drunk-sadly I missed to crush that wedo-out of mere water and always I have to close my eyes and there after scream as the good water slips down my throat.Where did they get the guts to do that?
 

However,these incidents if true as they are romoured and which I am doing now,they cannot beat what I witnessed while in third year when people came back from the long holiday after the March 2009 disturbances.Almost every chic in KU was pregnant.

It was the wildest baby boom I have never witnessed.

For days I marveled at how the absurd beautiful working of nature was fast taking over Madam's KU's beautification program and I thought  of it much,attempting an understanding of what was going on without finding any answers.Honestly son,I did a lot of pondering over it more than I have ever done for my academic work in KU.But while I was thinking,the buds swelled and every where they were walking they were growing wild and ready to bloom.Then I wished I had had a flowering project going on somewhere because it seemed so easy to have a good harvest.To have a bouncing little rose calling me “tatii” and buying the diapers and pampers before buying my first shaving blade would have been  a better investment than the booming photocopy and assignment-doing(?!!)  ventures that is spilling over in KM.

 Forward the script to the present and it seems like nobody wants to go that way and strangely it makes me sad.It felt so good to have like a thousand hugs in a day from the expecting chics with round belly pressed on you and you try to imagine the baby saying”enda uoge kwanza”.It felt good to have the feeling of what having an expecting wife would be only that  I might be the least of people she would want to see when she is carrying our girl due to unfavourable mood swing.Unfortunately I have never come to know why and how so many ladies became so expectant like that!But it should happen again!

Any way,I am already having my thin legs in cold water to try to read this UCU hand out I borrowed from a friend.Of course I am barely seeing what I am reading but I hope that the remnants of what I happen to remember will be of help.A friend gave me a PDF software that can read notes for you.It happens that I remember better things that happen when I am sleeping.Unfortunately the thing never sees even full stops!Ndekhe nyakhane pore pore.Strangely I will get an A in this when the diligent children of Madam who have been going to class will get Ds and then Give up the dream of FIRST CLASS HONOURS.It is the way to grow and it is beautiful life.Good bye,son and may you pass better than yourself.

Loving-Sleep-Walking-Bu
Good-Loving-Daddy-For-Life

Charl Chotto

A Letter To My Son3:A Weekend of Shame

Dear son,

How is Nyayo campus? Eastern is cool though my retirement to this paradise of a place is not going as I had expected it to be.

Son, what is your idea of a bad weekend? If anything is to go by, then my weekend needs to go into the list of shame. The other time I had told you that I am single and searching, I bet you now know why. So around Wednesday I met this gorgeous classy lady I had been chasing after during my prime days and never took me seriously because I had no class. I am now old and to prove a point I threw her a challenge and offered to take her out so us “to know each other better.” Mark you then I did not have even a penny in my pocket. I was feeling up to the game given the kind of night my Tuesday was. That night I was cooking some fish and my neighbour next door was warming up for some soup and a kaborn to spice up his sukuma wiki.Just when I  had added some salt and about to taste, the power went out and for hours. Then I remembered the fish that had been simmering in my pot. At home we call it Njoroge.One thing you ought to know that living around the lake is no guarantee to eat fish. You have to come to Nairobi if you want a fair bargain. People around the lake never had the entrepreneurial inspiration so one Njoroge  migrated to the Lake side and made life better by availing the bony remains of the fish after the meat has been scrapped off and sent to Nairobi. The moment you saw the fish the scrupulous nice talking Njoroge who was the darling of the fish market so the name really befitted his wares that he brought to the maket.Otherwise,we simply called it mgongo wazi and to enjoy it you have to imagine while eating that it gas flesh all round it.

Let’s come back to our story. By Friday I had pocketed some 2K and the next dilemma was where to go to. Then I remembered the Terrific Tuesdays advert for pizza advert on Capital fm and I had never tasted some. So I picked on Galito even though I did not know where it was. We got there with my confidence soaring high because I was loaded. When the fun and dining was over, I had only KShs.200 remaining. No more fun. Thanks to my phone, it can make fake incoming calls. I told her I had something important to do with my journalism club that evening so we had to come back to KU.She knew I had run out of cash but I did not care. I was going to roast some beans as kawa and now I knew she was never my type.

Then on Sunday Man U is thrashed 3-O by Liverpool!

Son, there was a time when almost everything was turning herbal. You remember those days? Well, maybe you were young you never took notice. We had herbal toothpaste, herbal skin lotions, herbal hot dogs-even my nightmares almost turned herbal. Kenyan marketers and producers are just geniuses I wonder why they never made love and finding love on face book herbal too. Getting a nice woman would be nice and I would not need to go on twitter, pair matching agencies or 2go of all the places to find my miss right; it would be: do you have a herbal smile, a loaded herbal wallet and herbal sense for ladies feelings? Then here is your match. Easy and clear! But I guess they ran out of the herbal ingredient before getting to this level.

The university administration is now calling on us to propose sustainable development ideas in the campus that can help make life better. If this would have come in the herbal days, I would have proposed that they make the end semester exams and the CATs herbal too. You cannot imagine the persistent headaches and goose pimples that plague me when my semester is just about to begin after 2 months of sheer fun to be told that “Oh, tomorrow we have the Cat” yet you have never attended any class. You transnight,the CAT comes, you forget most of the points you read  only to realize that  the main exams are the following week.Suc h a times I get sick and the good doctor at the health unit knows me well. A packet of panadols is enough to work miracles for me. Such time you don’t risk going to the library. They open the place late, you are almost crushed at the door as people rush to secure the expensive and rare seats that remain empty the rest of the SEM and then nice legs are always coming and going you forget why you are there.

However, today it is the three-in-one craze. The Nescafe three-in-one tastes cool though the sugar for a guy courting diabetes like me it is so narrow. But the crème in it is good for one like me who doesn’t know the price of milk. So, like the other times in KU, this craze has picked up pretty fast. Love around here is coming wrapped as three-in-one: the hype of false love; damage to the pocket and you go dry, then third end knocks in, you are single again! And you feel like you won’t be going to Ruwes and Ngongs in search of love but the heart is such a liar!

Son,is Nyayo still as noisy as it were before. I used to find it a hell of a place to be except for the fact it was easier to keep close to my many concubines; a dash to Nyayo 1 or t2 and I am though with my routine parade inspection. Right now I wish KU had Campus service. The walk to Ngong and Ruwe back to Nyayo and then to Eastern is killing me. In those days the craze for ufas-what do call them- was so high so guys used to compete.Mukangal played loud in Nyayo 2 and somebody responded with some Luo benga in Nyayo 3 and Rock maniacs in Nyayo 4 crowned the frenzy with my good ladies in Nyayo 1 and 2 seeming oblivious to it all you thought they rated these men as lunatics of some kind. Then there was the toilet thing. In my life I have never seen toilets people have to climb when on those important shuttle diplomacy in the small rooms. Naturally, I am not a mountain climber so I found myself so much out of place.

The good news is that soon I will be leaving and I will be glad to let you have my place and orient you with the Aberdares ladies. They live in their own private world and are good in the art of “ignoring KU guys “if you do not know them you can get grossly disappointed with them.Otherwise, the place is promising for an enterprising man like but you rather get saved first to be accepted amongst the sheep. Otherwise, do not risk it. Have I said too much? See you son and be papa’s ngund mboy.

Yours

Loving-Good Dad-for –life

Charl Chotto.

A letter to my son 2:Your Vote is your right:Vote for who lies the most

Photo courtesy of britanica.com

My dear son, 
I never expected to write to you this soon. This owes to the fact that I had had the feeling that the nature of revelations in my last communication might have scandalized you. But remember that I am your father and as a man trying to be a good father, I am obliged to have constant whispers with you, my child, given that I wish that one day you become a better man than I am. Furthermore, many things have happened since the last time we talked and these events have since taken over my decision to be silent for a while.

Son, when I was your age, I took on a long voyage of self discovery and it led me into many things some of which I am proud of and some I am not. But one thing I learnt and which I cherish very much is self respect and living a simple life away from the public eye.However,your total disregard for confidentiality by slipping my letter to you to the public has resulted into uncalled for criticism of my person.

People want to know why I am writing letters to only you and not your sister. Sadly son, when I came to KU I got your mum and we had you and your sister. But our dream of a fairytale love voyage we envisaged had to die when your mother left because I was a man too hard to deal with. She complained that we KU men are down and clueless when it comes to handling ladies and matters of romance and love. I thought this as sheer arrogance and many times we fought but I had to be wiser. I remembered that in Ku gender based violence is prohibited. I refrained from being physical with her but she violated me with her tongue. Wasn’t that gender based violence too? 

When she left, she went away with your sister but since then I have learnt to treat women well as my equals and you too need to learn to do the same.

Let's put that aside. Things have gotten really complicated for me of late, son. I have to juggle the three units I have, almost learning this semester through correspondence and searching for a job in the city. The problem is that these correspondences I have to rely on sometimes never know why they go to class and spend the whole time dozing or moshenering with chics and forgetting to take notes. Another problem is that my CV is so limited, barely a page and I am scared it might not be rewarding in the long run. To make matters worse, a friend of mine told me that there is a difference between writing and crafting a CV.I don’t know which is which and now I realize that while in KU I did many things and nothing relevant enough I could use to pimp my CV.I as always busy while here but I wonder why I don’t have certificates for the many things I did and I am not willing to take the counterfeits from KM.I am learning to change to be trusted by employers soon and that path of faking things including credentials and testimonials I cannot take.

Recently, the Tunisians and the Egyptians staged revolutionary civilian coupes that have seen their former presidents Ben Ali and Hosni Mubarak respectively going home.Gaddafi too is in a hot sit as his 42 years of rule seems to be waiting to come to an unceremonious end.

Son,since I was born these Gaddafis have been in power ruling their people the way they deem it fit for themselves.'Democracy' has not found a fertile ground to flourish because of them.This wild and greediest grip of power is the ailment that has plagued Africa and the people rising up to make their voices heard and exert their power as the sovereigns of their nations is the most beautiful thing I have never witnessed. 

My only worry is that, you, today inspired by these events might wish to stage a coupe too. If it comes to this-I believe I have been fair to you all in matters-you won’t need to stage any uncalled for protests. I am a reasonable man and we can any time negotiate and have power sharing government without any Koffi Annan in which naturally I will have the final decision even after “consultations.”

A few days ago, while lost in a strange alley in  the ghastly poor backstreets of our Capital City after a long day of depositing my “CV” , I stumbled upon a friend of mine who had gone to make some Ks in Sudan. He told me Kenyans are reaping cash in the oil rich south and that he won’t mind sparing me a few coins even as I wait for him to god-father me to go mine some oil too. I waited for the chums and when almost giving up I received good amount of Gs on my phone. But before I could withdraw the money ,Safaricom barred the transaction. I wasn’t the intended recipient. What a day for me!

So, while I snobbishly spread the graceful scent of the good Omena around the hostel to the displeasure of non-eating omena housekeeper,I thought of my lying Sudan-based friend and I thought I had recognized a strange similarity. They are the same with our so called KU KUSA aspirants who before the prospects of KUSA elections are small timers doing all sorts of things student do but suddenly spring up from nowhere when KUSA elections come. They issue funny websites and cheaply made business cards they ought to give only their girlfriends and boyfriends. They waste my time which I would have wasted watching stupid movies, soap or revising notes I never wrote myself.

Mark you, the campaign periods for this semester’s elections have not been announced yet but my good friends are not taking chances. On the Valentines Day, an unknown lady,apparently having certified herself as an all-able-leader, I hope she is not a feminist fanatic, sent me a card to wish me a super day. She never new that it was my worst day because I was broke the KUCC dinner offers couldn’t fit into my shrinking pocket. This lady friend I always flirt with thought I will be such a nice boy but on the day of the reds I went disappointing. I never took the message on the card seriously because it was overcrowded with good grammar but so much lies.

Without shouting so loud, what is the difference between these our aspirants and commercial sex workers. Some will do everything to have what they want,to be in office. They are so shallow and wanting.Most of the time this fellows ignore you all semester long and suddenly they become your friends, smiling and searching for your number to attend some weird strategy meetings. But we have been here long enough to know the game. A cheap smile for a fake reassurance from me goes a long way in making their day great.Another such a stranger asked for my number and I never wasted time: my number pap! A smile and a lie on top. Then I went my way.Why? I too need strategies  to put my house in order.

One thing I know is that once these fellows get into their offices they change for the 'better'! The once illustrious speech makers become quiet drooling ignorant individuals who can never even spare you greetings. But son, our affairs have to be taken care of and every season we have to vote. It is the way things have to be done. 

So,however how displeased you may be, you have to help in strategizing even if it means making others to step aside and then vote against the person you helped campaign. After all, your vote is your power and it is your right. The rule of the game is: Encourage all them who are tired, sweet talking and desperately looking for votes but give your vote to them who lie the best.

Till next time.See you and remember the semester has officially began.You know  what I mean:the provisional timetable for the exams are out!So do as we always do!

Yours,
Loving-good-dad-for-life.

Charl Chotto